How the Enneagram has helped me

I often say that the early 20s are some of the most confusing years of a person's life. For me, it has been a constant state of struggling to figure out how to answer the question, “tell me about yourself” when meeting new people or interviewing for a job. Just when I think I have my identity figured out, I discover more about myself that I hadn’t understood before - sometimes that’s me processing the past or evolving into the adult version of “me”. As I find myself changing, I also grapple with the idea of losing the “old me” - how can this be possible? I am me, and that’s that. Attempting to understand your identity is complex. 

A visual of me trying to figure out my identity (2017) Image courtesy Giphy

What identifies us anyway? I have wrestled with this question time and time again. In the US, we often answer questions about ourselves with our profession or something we “do”. But, does this really identify us? I have always had a small issue with this concept of identification. For me, my job is something that I do but does not define me. For others - particularly my friends and family whose vocation happens to be their calling - they feel it is a sufficient answer. We all identify ourselves differently. 

I just wonder - how does God see our identity? Does our grasp of our own identity matter to the LORD? 

In 1931, Oscar Ichazo brought the Enneagram, a personality typing diagram, 

 to the United States. It was later brought to the Roman Catholic church by a student of his and picked up by Richard Rohr, a world-renowned Francian priest who is known for diving into the enneagram through a Christian perspective. 

The Enneagram Diagram (2020) Image courtesy The Enneagram Institute 

I was first introduced to the Enneagram in college and I was a bit freaked out about the cultural phenomenon that took over my small, Christian college. It was all over my classmate’s instagrams, Facebook feeds, and was a theme of many dorm conversations - to be honest, I wanted nothing to do with it. To me, it seemed a bit wacky. However, when I was reintroduced to the concept in my confusing stages of my early twenties, I entertained the concept a bit more. I held onto anything that might help me understand where I fit into this big world. 

As I read through the 9 personalities, I wrestled with the traits - all of which I felt held a little bit of truth within me. I was passionate like an 8, but caring like a 2. How could I be both? My confusion led to me giving up once again on trying to find my “number” and I let it go for quite some time. A few months later, I gave the enneagram another thought and finally figured out my number - I am a 4. 

I have to admit, when I recognized my number and the description resonated with me, I was incredibly overjoyed. I felt like someone, somewhere understood a bit how I looked at myself. If you’re familiar with the enneagram, you know that 4’s tend to feel a bit out of place, are wildly self-aware, and are always trying to figure themselves out. They’re also known to be a tad dramatic...which I am a self-proclaimed Drama Queen at times. When I read the description of a 4 and received affirmation from some friends who had studied the Enneagram, I felt a taste of freedom. 

How could a personality test give a person freedom? 

I believe that every human deeply desires to be known. This is why we, as the Church, cling to verses like Jeremiah 1:5 ("Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."). These verses give us a feeling that if no one else knows us, the LORD who created us - knows us. The enneagram gives us the freedom to know ourselves better - which outside of the LORD knowing you, is perhaps the most important person you should be concerned about. 

When a person grows to understand himself deeper, he enables himself to better serve the Lord. When our strengths and weaknesses are at the forefront of our mind we cease our attempts at trying to fit into the Church or body of Christ in ways that we want to and lean into the ways we know we will excel - not for our glory, but for His. 

1 Corinthians 12:15-20 speaks on this concept. Suppose the foot says, “I am not a hand. So I don’t belong to the body.” By saying this, it cannot stop being part of the body.  And suppose the ear says, “I am not an eye. So I don’t belong to the body.” By saying this, it cannot stop being part of the body.  If the whole body were an eye, how could it hear? If the whole body were an ear, how could it smell?  God has placed each part in the body just as he wanted it to be. If all the parts were the same, how could there be a body? As it is, there are many parts. But there is only one body. 

If we are the body of Christ and we each play a part, I believe it is our duty to be in constant pursuit of where we fit in.

I am currently reading the book, The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. This is a book that I stumbled upon in an Amazon search. I knew that my friends who raved about the Enneagram had done their research and I wanted to do my own. I loved how honest Cron and Stabile were about this tool. Cron and I agree on this fundamental thing - we don’t believe that the enneagram is the perfect tool. Much like all knowledge of this world, it is man-made and susceptible to error. However, I do believe it’s a useful tool when used correctly. Cron says that the Enneagram is “helpful information so long as you don’t waste your time trying to accomplish any of it apart from the transformative power of God’s grace.” We are nothing without the LORD’s redemption. For me, the Enneagram has been a useful tool to recognize where I need more of that and how I can better serve Jesus with the skills that He has placed within me.