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I think one of the most challenging things about being a senior is change. The inevitable topic that sends shivers down my spine. I find it so odd that I can travel across the world but when it comes to going to college and moving away from my mom the slightest thought makes me want to cry. Yes, there are definitely aspects that I can't wait to get away from. I.e my busy life, responsibilities, the occasional screaming at home however, when it comes down to it these things make me who I am and are a big part of my life. In the moment I have to wake up to start my busy day I may dread it but as soon as the day is over, I get kissies from my sweet brother and mom and lay down to cuddle with my precious old puppy I can't help but thank God for my crazy life that He has so gracefully given me. I love it. So, why does everything have to change? This week has given me so much time to think on this issue. After forcing myself to visit another college and do a scholarship interview, I had much to pray about. It's been the scariest process of my life. This abyss of what I feel like at times is a dry desert of no communication from my Father is so scary to me. Oh, how I wish it were as easy as a burning bush moment where in one instant I knew what my next step was. I don't. I'm guessing it's not going to work out that way.
However, one thing God does give to me in this scary season is peace. (Let it be known - This peace isn't always ever present, yoga, clear-your-mind kind of peaceful) The kind of peace that allows me to know within the depths of my soul that He has me in His hands. My plan is laid out and all I must do is follow and trust with faith. (NOT ALWAYS EASY)  I flipped my bible open to a verse today that soothed my crazy & constant thoughts. It read
"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you in searchable things that you do not know" Jer. 33:3
Jesus. Is. Cool.
So, now I'm calling more and seeking harder. I would do anything to go back to being a 5 year old and having no worries as I cuddle with my momma but that's not gunna happen. I'm here and it's going to be good.
To any senior that has no idea what's going on with life: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
but, Jesus has a few ideas. ☺️

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