It's worth it.
Life is so scary.
We can question why Jesus does the things that he does, all we want but really what is the answer we will typically get?
If I had to guess it would be this "because my dear, I love you". Sometimes I am overwhelmed with this truth. To be completely honest, sometimes I wish it weren't truth. But always, I am so thankful for this truth.My life isn't falling apart by any means, but I have been surrounded with so many people, emotions and new things that it feels like it isn't all that together. Change is something I have forever struggled with.Like I've stated in so many previous blogs, I have moved more times than I can count on two hands (I think it has been 14 times), been to about 5-6 different school districts and just really been shaken up throughout my life.Change hurts me.Change scares me.Change is something Jesus gives me.That is something that blows my mind.WHY. Is the question I ask. Why father, why do you give me things that scare me? Why do you change my circumstances sometimes?Perhaps, like stated before it's because Jesus shouts into my heart "I love you."The change I have been dealing with recently is just realizing that people can be mean. People can say things that hurt your feelings. I am so used to being surrounded with people who I am used to. I used to be on a fairly tight schedule.. Go to school, work, second work, sometimes church then home. I was surrounded with people who knew me. At least the majority of them did. People who knew my secrets and also knew my heart.It's weird not being around people who know your heart. It's weird to be vulnerable again.Weird but so necessary.
The definition of the word vulnerable is susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
Wow! That sounds so fun! Sign me up!.....
no.
Being vulnerable is so intense. It's seriously opening your heart and saying "you might hurt me but you are welcome". That's the plain truth that I have learned more about making new relationships with people is that you allow them to have the power to cause you pain.
This pain is the cost that we (at least I) must pay. It's something that's too valuable to pass up. At the end of it all, I look at the example that Jesus showed throughout His life. If we are to think that Jesus was not vulnerable from the start I would dare say that we are wrong. He knew the pain that would be caused, he knew the betrayal. He knew it all. Yet, He still gave it all.
I want to give it all.
Yeah, I might not give my all in every single relationship and I might fail, hurt people and screw up along the way but I do not want to come the end of my journey here and say "I wish I had tried harder and been a little more vulnerable".
I want to say that I gave it my all. That I was more concerned about loving in a way that changes peoples lives rather than being hurt.
That's what I have been asking Jesus for these past couple weeks as I adapt to this new way of living.
Being vulnerable is worth it.
As you walk throughout life today just remind yourself of that. Jesus did it. I can too. Through Him.
On another note, my heart is overwhelmed with an unexplainable joy that I can't seem to contain. 25 days! In 25 days I get to hold my loves again. The very ones that Jesus has placed so dearly to my heart! I am so excited to be able to just smile, laugh and share Jesus with the children of Canica for the fourth year in a row! Sometimes, I look on my life and just cry out of pure thankfulness. I am allowed to love so many beautiful people all over the world and I simply do not deserve that privilege! I am so excited to take cuddly naps with my little sisters and give tight squeeeeeeezes to mi hija once again. A year is a long time to not see someone you'd give the world for. I am so thankful for planes, Jesus and love. Without those three things I would absolutely lose my mind. I could go on for days about my excitement. It's the thing that is constantly on my mind and makes my heart beat just a little faster when I look at my countdown! :)
To whomever may actually read this: Could you be praying for our team as we prepare to leave, depart, serve and return? We want to walk in the Holy Spirit the entire way so, please just pray for guidance and for the children. That this year more lives would be touched for eternity. One thing I have been praying for is that the hearts touched would absolutely be wrecked forever. That the impact would last a lifetime, not just a season. Would you join me? Thank you so much!
Until next time,
Selina
We can question why Jesus does the things that he does, all we want but really what is the answer we will typically get?
If I had to guess it would be this "because my dear, I love you". Sometimes I am overwhelmed with this truth. To be completely honest, sometimes I wish it weren't truth. But always, I am so thankful for this truth.My life isn't falling apart by any means, but I have been surrounded with so many people, emotions and new things that it feels like it isn't all that together. Change is something I have forever struggled with.Like I've stated in so many previous blogs, I have moved more times than I can count on two hands (I think it has been 14 times), been to about 5-6 different school districts and just really been shaken up throughout my life.Change hurts me.Change scares me.Change is something Jesus gives me.That is something that blows my mind.WHY. Is the question I ask. Why father, why do you give me things that scare me? Why do you change my circumstances sometimes?Perhaps, like stated before it's because Jesus shouts into my heart "I love you."The change I have been dealing with recently is just realizing that people can be mean. People can say things that hurt your feelings. I am so used to being surrounded with people who I am used to. I used to be on a fairly tight schedule.. Go to school, work, second work, sometimes church then home. I was surrounded with people who knew me. At least the majority of them did. People who knew my secrets and also knew my heart.It's weird not being around people who know your heart. It's weird to be vulnerable again.Weird but so necessary.
The definition of the word vulnerable is susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
Wow! That sounds so fun! Sign me up!.....
no.
Being vulnerable is so intense. It's seriously opening your heart and saying "you might hurt me but you are welcome". That's the plain truth that I have learned more about making new relationships with people is that you allow them to have the power to cause you pain.
This pain is the cost that we (at least I) must pay. It's something that's too valuable to pass up. At the end of it all, I look at the example that Jesus showed throughout His life. If we are to think that Jesus was not vulnerable from the start I would dare say that we are wrong. He knew the pain that would be caused, he knew the betrayal. He knew it all. Yet, He still gave it all.
I want to give it all.
Yeah, I might not give my all in every single relationship and I might fail, hurt people and screw up along the way but I do not want to come the end of my journey here and say "I wish I had tried harder and been a little more vulnerable".
I want to say that I gave it my all. That I was more concerned about loving in a way that changes peoples lives rather than being hurt.
That's what I have been asking Jesus for these past couple weeks as I adapt to this new way of living.
Being vulnerable is worth it.
As you walk throughout life today just remind yourself of that. Jesus did it. I can too. Through Him.
On another note, my heart is overwhelmed with an unexplainable joy that I can't seem to contain. 25 days! In 25 days I get to hold my loves again. The very ones that Jesus has placed so dearly to my heart! I am so excited to be able to just smile, laugh and share Jesus with the children of Canica for the fourth year in a row! Sometimes, I look on my life and just cry out of pure thankfulness. I am allowed to love so many beautiful people all over the world and I simply do not deserve that privilege! I am so excited to take cuddly naps with my little sisters and give tight squeeeeeeezes to mi hija once again. A year is a long time to not see someone you'd give the world for. I am so thankful for planes, Jesus and love. Without those three things I would absolutely lose my mind. I could go on for days about my excitement. It's the thing that is constantly on my mind and makes my heart beat just a little faster when I look at my countdown! :)
To whomever may actually read this: Could you be praying for our team as we prepare to leave, depart, serve and return? We want to walk in the Holy Spirit the entire way so, please just pray for guidance and for the children. That this year more lives would be touched for eternity. One thing I have been praying for is that the hearts touched would absolutely be wrecked forever. That the impact would last a lifetime, not just a season. Would you join me? Thank you so much!
Until next time,
Selina
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