Te extraño

The thing I have noticed about my life the past few weeks is that it is constantly 24/7 filled with missing at least one person. I think the person I most frequently miss is my Papa, which is a no brainer, followed by (in no particular order) my grama, my family, the kids in CANICA, my best friend, my boyfriend, my puppy, even my fish...Yeah, I even miss Tough Lips (that's our fishes name). I am really tired of missing things.
I found a book in the bookshelf of the spare bedroom at Grama and Papa's house titled something along the lines of: "Tell Me What It's Like To Be Big"
It sucks.
That's what I thought when I first picked it up. I know, super depressing that Selina thinks it sucks to be big... but that is just how I feel right now. Yes, it doesn't always suck and I will admit that. There are certain things I love about being big like, getting a paycheck on pay day, being able to travel the world, going to bingo with my family and so on. But, there are certain things  that suck about being big.
If I could have one thing right now, I would ask to go back to my awkward years of around 4-8. Anywhere in that range would be great. There were definitely things that sucked back then and I had the maturity to be able to recognize those things that sucked but I was able to crawl up into the lap of someone like my mom or grama and things would be okay. Literally, everything in the world seemed okay when I would just fall asleep next to my mom.
I think I am just being a big whinny-butt today but I miss everything. I want to wake up and head to CANICA and hug on some babies all day then laugh my butt off with Gaby, as we chase each other around the patio. That sounds like the life right about now.
But I am trying to remind myself that Jesus is GOOD. It's really hard when you're life seems so gloomy to try and remind yourself of the light. I've never had to remind myself so hard. It's always been so easy for me to take awful situations and try to find something good, but that's not the case now. I'm just riding on Jesus because like that kid song says:
Jesus loves me, this I know.
He loves me. I love Him.
The verse about the truth setting you free is so true. Even if freedom isn't what you're feeling.
Emotions don't always line up with truth.

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