Along for the ride!

I guess it's about that time. The time where my heart aches, longs and breaks for Guatemala and my baby. I want to be there so bad. Not that I haven't for the past two weeks but there's a point where it gets real. I guess I realize that wow, I'm actually not there anymore. Super weird... I know. But here I am, missing my love like no other and thinking about my life, future and Gods plans. I would be a complete liar if I told you that I know what's going to happen with my life for the next few years. I mean I can tell you until I'm blue in the face what I would LOVE to do, what I think is going to happen or even what I'm praying will happen... But that isn't always how it works. I guess I'm just in complete surrender to whatever God wants me to do. As I sit here and think about Alejandra and the kids down at CANICA, I only want and truly desire one thing and that is to leave everything and anyone I've held onto and serve. But, (there it is.. The wonderul but) I don't think that's what is going to happen. Remotely. Maybe one day! But not in May when I graduate. Wednesday morning, I am leaving to visit Oral Roberts University in .......Oklahoma. Yup, I know. It's far. Trust me! I know. (And before you ask all of the questions of won't you miss your family, how will you survive, you aren't going for a boy right, isn't that going to cause debt? Etc. etc. bear with me.) it's the only logical thing that I have looked into right now. I promise. If you know me pretty well, you would know that I am a homebody. If I am not in Guatemala, some foreign country or lansing Michigan with my mommy, then I am probably having a heart attack. This is why it seems logical. *gasp* I hate comfort zones. I can say ORU is the only logical choice to me because this will break one of the largest comfort zones that I hold up. Not only will it break it but it will transform my life. I want to be the best possible daughter that I can be to the best Daddy ever. I want to live to my full potential... Which would be His full potential since ALL things are possible through Him (big shoes). Also, I want to be the best I can for Alejandra. Not saying that I will adopt her one day, because that may not ever be possible... But, when I look at the pictures of her and remember her voice shouting "mami! Mami!" I don't want to disappoint her. I don't want to settle for anything besides Jesus and all He offers, and in return, I want to offer my life. My whole being.
So, I guess I'm nervous, anxious, scared and crazy excited for this next week. It's another adventure that I have no idea what will happen, where it will take me or what God will do. But, I am here. Along for whatever ride He wants to take me on. 

P.s. My last blog post was definitely posted in Guatemala. It just never sent... Cool. So it's there now :)

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