Give it all up.

I just arrived home from Oral Roberts yesterday and wow, I must say...  I really love the place. I really really do. It's so scary though. The idea of packing my life up and moving 900 miles away from home is so frightening. It's going to be okay though. 
I have been realizing as these last six months of school creep up on me that the lifestyle I desire so badly, calls me to give everything up. 
Yes, I understand. Jesus calls everyone to do this.. But, it's becoming reality for me. Very recently I had to give up something that is and was so wonderful. For the sake of Christ. Whether that wonderful and great thing will happen again is not in my hands and I guess I am completely learning to be okay with that. I am sad and I wish there were something I could do about it but there isn't. The only thing that I can do is continue to push on. Continue to push onward to Jesus. This brings me to my favorite verse,  
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. (Philippians 3:12 NIV)
I LOVE this verse because it reminds me of myself so much. I'll admit to you, I'm not perfect. I have moments where I miss that one person, where I get really angry at the inevitable future, I get sad.. And I'm human. I haven't made it and I haven't obtained my goal. 
But I will say this, I'm going to keep pursuing it. I won't give up until the goal is reached and I stand face to face with my Daddy. For now, I'm learning how to give up. I'm okay with surrender. These circumstances remind me of a song by Misty Edwards that says 
"I say goodbye to my father, my mother, I turn my back on every other lover and I press on."  
I definitely haven't mastered this awesome verse. But, I'm going to keep trying. In full surrender, knowing that the best is yet to come. 
My mom might not always be my favorite person to listen to but one thing she said makes much sense.. 
There's always a rain storm before a rainbow.
Who knows what the rainbow will look like? I know if my Dad has anything to do with it.. It ought to be beautiful. 
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do it. -Steve Jobs


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